Memorial Day Ride

Boffo Victorious Second Weeek in a Row!

Kid Doster rejoins peloton

16 Minions turn out in their Red, White & Blue


It seems with the Patron out of town a few minions thought they could roll in late; Kid Doster pumping up his tires, Boffo in his one legged clown suit and Falcon spinning in at the last moment. Seems that with the great Sharkman out of town the peloton has lost some discipline.


As the Skipper took control and hearded the minions toward the TdKK start, 16 minions clicked in. Gazelle Girl invited Shawn (Iron Man) and Sooner brought the Neighbor Kid, Nike Boy, Falcon, Kid Doster, All-Black (who again was Mostly Black), Pirate, Boatman, Boffo, No Name, Bissell Boy, Zickman and Dancin' Dan rounded out the group. Hopefully this cub reporter didn't forget anyone.


The group rolled up 36th street in a social but spirited pace. The first sprint was taken by the absent, but ever present, Sharkman. Falcon took the second sprint at 35th and Zickman took KoM on Cul' de Twin Lakes. No Name took the D Ave sprint and the peloton picked up the pace as we rolled through the Country Club hills. Zickman won the M-43 sprint, Falcon utilized the Bible Conference driveway for a sneak attack to win the Frona's sprint and Zickman lead Gazelle Girl out for the inlet sprint. As the pack crossed M-89 it was apparent the discipline was still lacking as the peloton was unable to form a pace line.

Continuing to show early season form Zickman won the G Ave sprint and the group headed south toward the finish line. Bissell Boy jumped early trying to lead Zickman to victory but it was not to be as the peloton, looking like a bee swarm, approached the finish. Shawn (Iron Man) lead out the final sprint and once again Boffo took the victory sharing podium honors for a second week with Nike Boy and the newcomer Iron Man.

It was mentioned by several riders that this was the fastest ride of the season but this reporter was unable to verify average speed. Please click on the comment button below if you can provide this info.

It is rumored that the ride will move back to 8:00 next week so stay tuned for a Shark announcement.

Twitter Version of a Wet Ride

Boffo Takes the Finish by a Nose!

Nikeboy Makes Podium in Debut Ride!

Tony Jersey Day Brings out the jersey's!

Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain………


Belo News
Galesburg, Mi.
May 16, 2009

Galesburg, Mi.- When our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, woke up on Saturday morning and looked out the window of the Shark Cove, he was pleased to see it wasn’t raining, but he was concerned that the roads were still wet and the sky was dark. As he went out to get the paper, Nikeboy was out getting his and declared he would be riding with the Shark. He also stated the radar clearly indicated that the rain had passed.

The temperature on the Shark Weather Station showed 62 degrees, and as Sharkman and Nikeboy left the Cove, they were in their Tony the Tiger jerseys, sans jackets, gloves and other warm clothing, feeling pretty good about the nice temps.

As the pair rode into Galesburg and approached the start, they were welcomed by Sooner, All Black, Peugeot Guy, Zickman, the Skipper, Pirate and Boffo the Clown.

Six of the nine riders were wearing their Tony Jersey's, indicating that the Minions actually do read the Update!

Boffo shared that he had been to a Clown reunion party the previous evening and had consumed copious amounts of taco and bean dip, topped with beer. The Skipper ordered him to the rear of the peleton and got the Minions started through Galesburg. Nine Minions snaked their way past the Klutch and headed north of town were the Sharkman took his honorary sprint with ease.

As the peleton moved towards the cul de Twin Lakes, the sky started to spit rain. As the climb to the summit picked up speed, so did the rain. The Minions were in for another Saturday morning of riding in the rain.

After the Rt. 89 crossing, All Black attacked and the peleton was blown apart between the Yorkville Church, through Kellogg Corner, past the Country Club to Rt. 43. Sharkman stayed with All Black and the pair opened up a good size gap. Sooner took a monumental push to close the gap just before the finishing sprint to bring the group back together. The rain was now coming down pretty steady and the temperature was dropping quickly.

After the cul de Norte, All Black and Peugeot Guy attacked and a pace line was slow starting up.

Skipper and Pirate peeled off at the Inlet and the group formed up in a pace line south of Rt. 89 and worked together through the G Ave. sprint.

The pace line continued to work together in the run up to the finish. As the group made the final ascent over the hill before the finish, Zickman and Sharkman began to work together to open up a small gap. However, it was not to last.

As the Minions barreled down on the finish in the pouring rain, tires spitting rode water and debris in their faces, Zickman began to lead out the Sharkman. As the Sharkman began to move out, he caught a glimpse of a big red clown nose out of the corner of his eye and later stated he wanted to jump on the wheel of Boffo as he sped by. But Sooner was also coming up behind Boffo and Sharkman had to wait to move out from behind the lead out. Boffo was getting away, but Sharkman continued to counter the move and though closing the gap, the big shoed, red nosed clown took the tape with Sharkman on his wheel and Nikeboy making a last jump to take the third spot on the podium. Boffo had won by a nose.

As the riders boated down the Champs le Galesburg, the rain continued to pound them and they looked more liked drowned rats than Minions. It was cold and wet.

At the Klutch, Luann was there to greet our hero’s, who huddled over their kups of koffee trying to warm their hands. When the Minions got up to leave, they had to wipe the chairs clean from the road crude they had left on the chairs. Their bikes were loaded with dead worms, bugs, sticks and leaves. Several Minions mentioned they had to floss the road grit out from between their teeth when they got home!

Nikeboy pulled the Sharkman back to the Cove and thankfully, the strong tailwind made it a quick, but very cold ride. Sharkman stated later that it took hours to shake the chill out of his body.

Sharkman also reported that he will most likely miss the next two weeks due to work travel. He will miss this Saturday and possibly the next, depending on when he get’s back to town.

Since it is Memorial Day Weekend, it will be Red, White and Blue jersey day! So break out the colors for to celebrate the holiday!

Launch Time – 8:30 A.M. (we will move to 8:00 A.M. on the following Saturday.

Be there!


Airman Still Recovering – Cloud Girl gets new Ride!

Portage, Mi. – While Airman is still recovering from his bike crash and tormenting himself by looking at his new Cervelo with new Ksyrium wheels that hasn’t been able to ride on yet, Cloud Girl reports that she has a new Kuota! Yes, the Cloud Girl will be riding a pretty sweet carbon fiber Kuota the next time she rides with the peleton. Watch for a photo of it soon on the Blog slide show. Also watch for it when she passes your Minion butt on the road! Go Cloud Girl! Also watch for some "Style" photo's as soon as we at the update can get our act together and quite letting work get in the way of all this fun!

Mother Nature Rules the Day!

Sooner Buys Koffee

Skipper’s Mom shows up for a ride?

The Minions brave the elements!


Belo News
Galesburg, Mi.
May 9, 2009

Galesburg, Mi.- As our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, woke on Saturday morning, he quickly threw back his Shark blanket and ran to the window in his Shark pajama's to see if it was raining. As he looked back at Lava Girl, snuggled under the down comforter, the thought crossed his mind that maybe sleeping in would be better. But it was a fleeting thought, and when he realized that it wasn’t raining he began to get excited! Game on! The Minions ride!

As he fired up the Shark Koffee Maker, he clicked on the Shark Weather Radar and saw that all the rain was clearly headed north! Game on! The Minions ride!

As the Sharkman made his way to Galesburg the sun was shining on his dorsal fin, while he faced, not only an incredible head wind, but some formidable black scary looking clouds. He smiled as he thought, like last week, he would beat Mother Nature! Game on! The Minions ride!

As he approached the start, he was gratified to see the huge turn out! Two new Minions were in the parking lot getting ready and two other guest riders who just happened to be riding by were in the mix. Steve, from Team Active in Battle Creek and another rider, saw some Minions that they knew and joined in the start, though they had been riding all morning and needed to head back after the start.

Returning after major back problems, the Pirate rode in with the Skipper, who immediately took charge to get the Minions going even though WolfKing, as usual, wasn’t ready to launch.

Filling out the dance card were Rainman and Tardette (new name to be determined – cast your vote!), Airman and Cloud Girl, Danimal, the Un-named Rider, Sooner, Peugeot Guy, All Black, Stingray and Stroker.

Luann waved as the mass of riders snaked past the Klutch and the entire peleton was pleased and surprised to see Gazelle Girl join the riders north of town at the earlier start time, making it 20 riders on the morning.

Sooner, feeling very generous and wanting his name in the Update, offered to pull the Sharkman to the first sprint as the Shark had to work to get around the mass of riders. The Team Active Riders headed back to Battle Creek as the peleton passed over G Ave.

Like last week, the tail wind was great and the group splintered quickly as they scurried up the cul de Twin Lakes and fought out the sprint at the summit.

As has become the norm, the riding between the Rt. 89 crossing, through Kellogg Curve (which had actually been swept by the Skipper this week! Thanks Skipper!) past the Country Club, to the Stop Ahead at Rt. 43, blew the peleton apart.

As the Minions rounded the north end of the lake, the sky started to spit rain and the drops started to pick up intensity as the Minions climbed the cul de Norte. Mother Nature was settling the score with the Sharkman from last week. Knowing the Minions ride in the rain, but do not start in the rain, she had drawn the Minions in with her warm sun early, only to drench them for the remainder of the ride!

At the summit of the cul de Norte, Gazelle Girl formed up the second semi successful, reverse double pace line of the season as everyone wanted to beat the rain and wind and ride off the back.

The Un-named Rider was particularly frisky and was picking off sprints like a dog grabbing bones off a meat wagon. At the foot of the Bible Conference Center Hill section the peleton blew apart again as everyone went for the sprint.

A quick stop at Frona’s allowed for a woman to come out of the restaurant and ask, “Is there a Kellogg in the group?” Since many of the Minions work at Kellogg, half of the peleton turned around in reply only to learn it was the Skippers Mom wanting to say hello to her favorite son! Skip quickly replied, “Hello Mom, thanks for coming out!” And hence, the Skipper becomes the first Minion to ever have his Mom show up for a ride!

WolfKing and Sharkman fought it out for the Inlet Sprint and WolfKing had to fight off a determined Shark and took the stop ahead by a frog’s hair.

Skipper and Pirate peeled off at the 89 crossing and the pace line again formed up. Gazelle Girl, timing her move perfectly, was launched to the G Ave sprint by the Sharkman hisself. The Unnamed Rider tried to take Gazelle Girl at the sign, but she fought him off to take her patented sprint!

Controversy then came into play and called the finish into questions.

Some of the Minions crossed G Ave., while others waited for the Minions who were behind. We would like to report the finishing sprint, but some anxious Minions, claiming they were told that all the riders had crossed G (by whom you ask? No one seems to know.), forged ahead as Sharkman and others waited for some trailing Minions.

From what the Update has learned, Sooner took the finishing honors with the Unnamed Rider and WolfKing and others on his tail.

As the Shark and the stragglers came into the Klutch, Sooner had ordered up Koffee for everyone, so he was forgiven his transgression on the early crossing and since it was Spring Season, did not get an asterisk next to his name in the win column.

Boffo, Mrs. Boffo and the little Boffo’s all came in to the Klutch for some Joe and a little hot chocolate and signed a few autographs for the crowd. Apparently Boffo is now doing Soccer half time shows and is working his family into the act!

At the Klutch, the Sharkman had been offered a ride home, but as the Minions had ridden into town the rain had stopped and he was pretty confident that the rain would end for the day. When our intrepid hero left the Klutch, the rain started yet again, and lasted till the Sharkman made the long, cold ride back to the Shark Cove. Mother Nature 1, Sharkman 0………Mother Nature won this week, but there is always next week!

So, will it rain next week? Will Mother Nature take on the Minions again, or has she decided to reward them for hanging in for a Paris/Roubaix type of ride? Will 20 riders show up? Maybe more? Will any other Bike Shop guys show up?

Well, you need to show up to find out! You don’t want to miss it.

It will be Tony the Tiger Day! – Wear your Tony Jersey!

Launch Time – 8:30 A.M. – SHARP

WOLFKING! That means 8:30 A.M. launch, It does not mean pull into the parking lot at 8:30 A.M!


News Flash! Just in…….

Richland, Mi. - Several Minions showed up for the kick off of the Chain Gang ride on Tuesday night. Falcon, Zickman, All Black, Brewman, Stingray and Airman (any others?) towed the line for a fun evening of pace line work. Unfortunately, as the group was returning to the Gull Lake High School a rider had a front tire blow out, lost control, and took our own Airman down in a tremendous crash that caused both riders to have to be taken by ambulance to Borgess. Unfortunately, Airman was badly banged up and bruised, particularly on his tailbone and his recently healed back. His Doctor reports he could be out of action for up to 6 weeks as a result. The other rider sustained a bad hit to the head. The Update spoke with Cloud Girl today and she reports that Airman is resting comfortably and thinks he will be back sooner than the Doctor predicts. It is a reminder to all of us that we have to be careful out there!

For those of you wondering, his new Cervelo only had a mark on the saddle and a small scratch on the rear derailleur.

Get well quick Airman! We need you in the Peleton!


Name Tardette Contest enters Third Week!

O.K. Minions, the entries for the “Name Tardette” contest have not exactly been pouring in! What is that all about? But we do have two nominations;

1. Because of her penchant for Castelli Kit – Castelli Girl!

2. Because she is a teacher – Old School!

So submit a name or vote for one of the above names. Go to the comment section of this blog and cast your vote now!

A word from the Style Guy -

Come on Minions! No questions on style? I need questions. Get to the comment section of the blog and ask me if you’re wearing the right jersey, riding the right kind of bike, drinking the right beer, being seen in the right bike shops. Come on Minions, bring me those questions! I gotta job to do!

Style Guy

Twitter Version for Saturday May 2, 2009

Belo News
Galesburg, Mi.
May 2, 2009

Galesburg, Mi.- Sorry Minions, but we lost track of time here at the Update and just could not meet the deadline for the full story and had to eliminate Style Guy this week (and is he pissed!). Hey, it happens! It isn't easy fighting crime and/or evil in the corporate world, let alone fighting off the impending onslaught of H1N1 flu! Our apologizes, but here is the Twitter Version of last week’s action.....

17 riders showed up for a bright but brisk 9:00 A.M. launch. Airman returned to the peleton for the first time this year sporting his new Cervelo as Cloud Girl looked on. That Cervelo is one sweet ride! When does Cloud Girl get hers?

The Skipper returned, complaining that he was getting too much press for not showing up. He immediately took over and led the group at the start with a shout to saddle up and click in.

Luann and a patron were at the window of the Koffee Klutch to wave at our hero's as they passed the shop on their way out of town.

Perhaps it was the weather or the smell of Koffee as they passed the Klutch, but the group was particularly frisky in the cool air and several Minions broke for the ceremonial Sharkman first sprint lead by Wolf King. Sharkman, deciding it would be better if he did not contest the sprint was surprised when the peleton parted like the Red Sea and Rainman and Wolf King pulled up to allow the Patron of the Peleton to take the stop ahead. Sharkman was deeply honored at this jester of sportsmanship.

The attacks came fast and furious and as the group ascended the cul de Twin Lakes, Sharkman attacked the hill but was passed by Wolf King after they crested (yes, you read that right, Wolf King second on a hill climb!). Wolf King then graciously led the Sharkman to his second sprint of the day!

The pace from the Yorkville Church through Kellogg Curve, past the country club to route 43 was down right blistering and Rainman took the sprint in the run up to Rt. 43 with relative ease as the peleton was blown apart in his wake.

Falcon, Bissell Boy, Wildman, Bullet Bob, All Black, Peugeot Guy and Zickman all fought it out for sprints running up to the Inlet. Gazelle Girl, taking the Minions to new frontiers they’ve not ventured to before actually got the Minions to do a double pace line in the opposite direction! Could it be? Could it possibly be? It actually was one of the better pace lines in Minion history! Gazelle Girl had worked a miracle!

The peleton bore down on the G Ave. sprint and Falcon was leading Gazelle Girl out in an effort for her to take the sprint for the third time in four weeks, but it was not to be. Zickman, blasted out of the pace line and took the sprint going away.

The pace line did not form up again until well into the final stretch, after Rainman made a huge jump to try to break up the pack. He was reeled in at the hill and the final sprint began. Rainman's sacrifice did break up the bunch enough to avoid mass chaos and Falcon took the final sprint.

Sharkman decided to take the short cut now known as the “Cloud Girl shortcut to the Klutch Drive Up Window” and Wolf King actually bought him Koffee! (Yes, Wolf King!)

Jamie was back from Spring Break and was serving up the Joe.

Talk centered around moving the start up so that the soccer parents could make more rides and so this week we will be launching at 8:30 A.M. Hope we don’t lose Gazelle Girl! She does not like early starts!

You won’t want to miss this week’s edition, though the weather is sounding threatening. A low of 47 and a high of 63 but showers are predicted and as we all know, Minions will ride in the rain but will not START in the rain!

Launch Time – 8:30 A.M. SHARP!

Be there! (unless it is raining)