Wednesday, August 10, 2016

SHARKMAN KILLS ON TOUR!

Wishbone returns to the Nation!
Seen here with Builder Bob and Dot Dot Dash!

STRYKER GUY/COVER 

GIRL RETURNS TO

ACCOLADES!


WISHBONE BACK AT THE

KLUTCH!


SKITTLES MAKES

NATION PROUD!


MINIONS AT THE SHERMANATOR!




Belo News
August 6, 2016

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke bright over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman could not be contained! Word had it that the bridge at the Eaton Plant was back open and our hero had planned to ride over and have Lava Girl pick him up at the Klutch for the return trip!

OK, So Sharkman sucks at "Selfies!"
Our hero was also pleased that not only would Stryker Guy/Cover Girl be returning to the peloton, but Dot Dot Dash reported that she would be bringing Wishbone over for koffee! Could it get any better?

Yes, it could! Due to the Shermanator, the Nation would be riding the southern route, with full sight seeing tour and $.50 per site, so Sharkman would be raking in the money! Is this a great country or what?!?

The only disappointment was the Mad Dog, Sharkman's long time wingman for the ride over, would not be in action this week! Oh, the humanity!

Sharkman took off from the Cove right on time and other than a minor run in with a peacock (you heard that right, Bunkie. There is a family with a pet peacock on Watkins Road and it jumped out in front of our hero and the old Shark almost T-Boned him. Sharkman also learned that the peacock could fly, as he took off to get out of our hero's way!), the ride over was was uneventful.

At the start there were a few new virgin Minions. A young Canadian named AJ (who will now be known as The Canuck), who found out about the ride from Stryker Guy; a friend of Dragonfly's named Lance and a friend of Brewman named Steve. Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation gentlemen!
But Sharkman was there barking
orders just like the old days!

Also, some Minions returned after being gone a while, like Buff and the ever popular Peugeot Guy, and Tan Man making his season debut! 

Welcome back, gentlemen!

As start time approached, more riders continued to pour in, but no Stryker Guy, who had assured our hero that he would be in attendance!

Sharkman took some lousy photos of the start (selfies into the sun aren't easy, Bunkie!) and it was then, that Stryker Guy made has grand entrance to the start! (Taking a chapter out of the Gazelle Girl Book on “How to Make an Entrance,”). To a huge round of applause, the triumphant hero rode in to his adoring Nation to receive his well deserved slaps on the back, hugs, and handshakes in a genuine show of admiration for his accomplishment of riding across this great country!

Welcome home, Stryker Guy! So good to have you back where you belong, in the mighty Minion Nation!

Virgin Minion Lance!
Sharkman then announced the South Route, that A & B Group would need to play nice together and slow the pace a bit, and that there was no change for the $.50's for the wonderful sites he would be pointing out.

The count, which seemed to keep changing, was at 24 riders as the train left the station and worked their way past the Klutch and up to the Qman Hill. Sharkman was so busy pressing the flesh and working the crowd, he forgot to reset his bike computer to measure the ride!

The ride went very well, with Nikeboy playing sweeper at the back for the first half of the ride before peeling off, where Bissell Boy took over to watch the Lantern Rouge. 

For the most part, the Nation played nice and stayed together, waiting at Stop Signs to make sure all were on.

With Sharkman pointing out Waterfalls, Cemetery's, the Railroad House, the Fairy Tree, Scotts Mill, Tall Corn (yes, you heard that right), to name just a few of the sites, the meter was running and Sharkman was having a great time!
Virgin Minion AJ, now known as
The Canuck!

As the Nation went through Scotts, and Sharkman pointed out the historic Post Office, he was counting the receipts in his head! "$.50, take a good look! No change!" was heard over and over and over, .....well, you get the drift.

As they made the turn on to the final leg of the ride, Dragonfly rode up to Sharkman reporting a mechanical. Sharkman and Bissell Boy shouted out “MECHANICAL” but the Nation was moving too fast to hear.

Dragonfly's handlebars had come completely loose and Sharkman offered his “Alien Tool” to fix it. It has been so long since our hero has done any road repair, he noticed rust on the tool, and was reminded that he has had it for almost 30 years and it may not have been out of it's sleeve in almost as long! He also noticed it weights slightly less than a small car......

After tightening down the handlebars, Bissell Boy and Sharkman led Dragonfly and Lance back to the Nation, that was not only dutifully waiting at the ML Stop Sign but had sent back a search team for group.

Sharkman shouted out safety instruction as the Nation headed back down Qman Hill, telling everyone to be careful on the fast down hill, then proceeded to jump out front with Wildman who lead our hero down into the Kalamazoo Valley!
Tan Man was back and took the tape!

After Sharkman rode Wildman's wheel for some time, he went out front but was quickly passed by Tan Man, B-Rod and a cast of thousands who wanted to take advantage of the massive descent to the finish!

As it went down to the final meters, Tan Man pulled out the win with B-Rod right on his wheel!

The crowds went wild on the Champs le Galesburg with the tofosi offering up loaves of bread, families holding up babies to be kissed and Sharkman's imagination running completely out of control!

The Klutch was rocking where Wishbone was waiting AND Easty and Katie, had brought a cake to celebrate Stryker Guys great accomplishment and also bought the koffee! Is this a great country or what?!?

Styker Guy posed for photos and autographs and Easty even gave a corner piece to the Sharkman! Oh, the humanity! Sharkman loves corner pieces of cake! More frosting, of course!

Wishbone shared his story with much of the Nation and it was so good to see him up and around and being part of the Nation once again! The group felt blessed to have him back and look forward to his return to the peloton! Big thanks to Dot Dot Dash for bringing Wishbone over for koffee and we hoping he can make regular appearances going forward!

The riders hung around the Klutch, talking, laughing, eating cake and drinking koffee for some time!
Mr. Style, Nikeboy with his orange kit!
Man that guy can style!

It was a great day to be a Shark Minion!

You won't want to miss this week's edition of the DD-TdG!

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Bissell Kit Day! That's right, we haven't had a Bissell Kit Day yet this year so get your Bissell Kit out and dress up like our hero Bissell Boy! 

Who knows, maybe our hero The Skipper will show up as we know he has Bissell Kit and we now have a B Group! 

Oh, the humanity!

Launch Time for both A & B Groups, 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!

Be there!


Easty and Katie in matching kit!
Thanks for the cake and koffee guys!
Gazelle Girl and Boatman arrive!





















Stryker Guy awarded the cake from
Katie and Easty!
Virgin Minion Steve!



















The Klutch was rocking!






The koffee was flowing!

















Andrew was sporting his
Shark Minion kit!













Peugeot Guy was back for his season debut!











SKITTLES MAKES NATION PROUD! THEN BREAKS HIS 

RIBS!


Belo News
Skittles on the podium!
August 7, 2016


Rockford, Mi. - This past weekend the USAC State Championships took place at the Art Van Sports Complex on Merrell Trail in Rockford Michigan.


Our own Skittles did the Nation proud by turning in a 3rd place finish in the Expert Singlespeed Division of the State Finals! Whoa, is this a great country or what!?! Nice job Skittles, you did the nation proud.


However, on a sad note, our young hero had some extra time and decided to try out the trails at Luton Park for about 15 minutes. Unfortunately he got into a tussle with a tree after going over the handlebars and the tree won. 

He fractured a couple of ribs in the action and is now home healing up. 

In an interview with Belo News he commented he can hardly get out of his chair without major pain and the medical bills are murder! He also commented it was a 15 minute ride and at least a 45 minute walk out! 



Oh, the humanity!

Get well soon, Skittles! The Nation will be holding a spot in the peloton for you!




MINIONS AT THE SHERMANATOR!


Belo News
August 6, 2016
Ironman, Stroker, Dreamboat and Hoosier Boy!


Augusta, Mi. - The Nation was well represented at the year's Shermanator at the Sherman Lake YMCA this past Saturday. Reporter, Hoosier Boy sent in the attached photo, along with the results with Stroker taking the Aqua Bike Division, and Hoosier Boy and Dreamboat winning the Tri Age Group! 

Mean while Ironman captured the "Volunteer of the Event" Award granted by Hoosier Boy!



Reporter Stroker submitted a photo with his entourage of participants from the Battle Creek YMCA.

The names of the participants from the Battle Creek Y left to right are Rick Pattison, Earl Gaball, Randy Parker, Laura Stuchell, Karen Slack, Bill Greer, Kim Houtkooper, Cathy Hager, Deann Auton







Nice job to all the mighty Minions at this years Shermanator!




BANJOVI BACK AT THE KLUTCH THIS FRIDAY!


Belo News
August 10, 2016



Galesburg, Mi. - Back by popular demand, those musicians of the peloton are returning to where their music legend began! For those of you who've been asking, the boy's return to the Koffee Klutch this Friday, August 12, 2016 from 6:30-8:30 p.m.!


They've got some new songs, including Sharkman's rendition of “Don't Pet the Dog!” You won't want to miss that one!


Come on out to OUR Koffee Klutch and enjoy the food, the friends and the music!


Become a Banjovi Witness!





Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Oh, it rained all right!
BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED 

RAINED OUT!

BUT THE PARTY GOES ON!


SOUTH ROUTE 

THIS WEEKEND FOR BEU JERSEY DAY!


A & B GROUPS WILL PLAY NICE THIS WEEKEND?!


STRYKER GUY/COVER GIRL FINISHES “EPIC” RIDE IN

RECORD TIME!


BANJOVI BACK AT THE KLUTCH!




Belo News
July 30, 2016
Gazelle Girl


Triple Nasty Rancho, Mi. - The only sound to be heard as dawn broke over the Triple Nasty Rancho was that of a steady rain. Ever the optimist, Gazelle Girl bounded from bed with the traditional "belo" of this special day: "Bloody 'ell!!!!"

As Toesetter hunted for ear plugs, Gazelle Girl checked the weather report. A 50ish percent of scattered showers for most of the day. Being the glass half full kinda gal Gazelle Girl is, she began to load up the bloody marys, ice, deviled eggs and a sundry of bike gear. Toesetter was equally optimistic about the day mainly due to the fact that he was jazzed about his second - count 'em... 2 - ride of the year with the Nation. Oh, the humanity!

Just north of the GGG spot on the way up to Zychmann's the duo spotted two southbound riders approaching. It was tough to tell in the steady rain who these madmen were but, 'lo, they happened to be wearing Bloody 'ell 'undred jerseys. "What the bloody 'ell?" Gazelle Girl exclaimed.

It was none other than Wildman - who had jotted a note of apology the morning previous to tell Gazelle Girl he'd be a no show due to a surprise visit from out-of-towners - and Mad Dog - who had never RSVPed his attendance in the first place. (A source on deep background suspects Mad Dog's lack of attendance was from a fear of having Minions think his post-BEU swim trunks are really his underwear. [Shout out to Rainman for that peg.])

The two soaking blokes looked FABULOUS in their handsome Bloody 'ell 'undred jerseys. Best of all, both had donned the coveted top on their own accord in the spirit of the occasion. Sadly, those two jerseys would be the only ones to grace the roadways on this day.

Once at Zychmann's, the party planners sprang into action setting up the grooves, the drinks and the gorgeous platter of Gazelle Girl's tasty deviled eggs. Meanwhile, it rained.

B-rod waltzed in decked out in his colorful BEU jersey replete with matching red stockings. Men. In stockings. In July. Is this a great country or what? Next up was Hutch - a BEU virgin. Welcome to the Bloody 'ell 'undred, Hutch! Boatman breezed in regaling the crew with tales of his morning ride and how he had come across Wildman and Mad Dog. (Boatman had to head to work, so had not planned to ride the BEU - rain or shine.)

Bloody marys were poured, eggs were slammed. (I really don't understand this. You can - without mess - get at least FOUR savory bites out of a deviled egg thus, quadrupling your enjoyment. But most folks just cram the whole thing in all at once. Gulp. Chomp. Gone. Oh well. We had PLENTY.)

Zychmann went a wandering (as he and others - if the song is to be believed - love to do) down to his basement and returned wearing a stunning sun hat and very fancy back pack. He then proceeded to unravel its contents with all he will carry on his jumbo hiking adventure in Colorado this month. (Ergo, why the BEU was changed from the traditional mid-August to the end of July when, you know, it always rains.)

Suffice it to say, Zychmann is packing LIGHT, but will still have a lot on his back. However, he should want for nothing (except maybe a pepperoni pizza and a cold beer at some point along the way).

Once everyone left, the three party hosts were joined by the lovely Mrs. Zych (Zychwomann?) and the patio party continued on into the afternoon which turned out to be quite lovely. Gazelle Girl even went for a little ride upon returning home to sweat out the vodka.

Some have asked if we will reschedule the 2016 BEU. Depends on Zychmann's autumn schedule. I'll ask. A color tour to Hastings could be quite beautiful and at least now we know that we can make the best of whatever Mother Nature tosses our way. Big thanks to Mr. & Mrs. Zych for their gracious hosting! And thank you to Boatman, B-rod, Hutch and Toesetter for showing up! Bloody 'ell!!!


SOUTHERN TOUR OF CENTRAL KALAMAZOO COUNTY!


BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED JERSEY DAY!



Belo News
August 3, 2016


Shark Cove, Mi. - Things will get back to normal this week, after the rain out last Saturday. Well, back to normal in that the Nation will be doing the famous “Tour of South Central Kalamazoo County!” Complete with all the sites that everyone loves and Sharkman makes money on! Oh, the humanity!


Because the Shermanator is this weekend, and we all remember the last time we rode through the Shermanator, the Nation will embark on the southern route, complete with Sharkman's guided tour of things like Qman Hill, Waterfalls, cemeteries, Water Mills, Downtown Scots and who can forget that all time favorite, the “Fairy Tree!” Wait.....”Fairy Tree?” You heard the right, Bunkie!


Is this a great country or what!?!


Since an A & B Group route has not been determined for the southern route, the two groups will not only ride together, but play nice together, and ride to Sharkman's pace! Sharkman will be sure to be there to not only guide, charging $.50 per look, but to enforce the no speeding rule. Though riders can sprint all they like, they still must wait for riders at the next Stop Sign or suffer the wrath of the Sharkman. And for a little guy, he can dish out the wrath!


Because the Nation did not get to wear their Bloody 'Ell 'Undred Jerseys last Saturday (at least to ride in), it has been declared Bloody 'Ell 'Undred Jersey Day! That's right, Bunkie! Put on your BEU Jersey and come out for the totally awesome tour of South Central Kalamazoo County with tour guide, our intrepid hero, Sharkman!


Launch time for both A & B Groups, 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!


Be there!


STRYKER GUY/COVER GIRL FINISHES TOUR IN 

RECORD TIME!
Our hero at the finish!
Hey, what's that on his chin?


LATE BREAKING NEWS BULLETIN!


Belo News
August 3, 2016


Portland, NH. - That legend of the peloton, that the Nation has been following the past few months, just reported in that he has completed his trans Continental trip by bike across this great Nation of ours! You heard that right Bunkie!


At approximately 1:10 p.m. The legendary rider reported in from Portland (Hey, isn't that where he started from?) that he had finished the trip! Cross country in just a few weeks! What a rider! No wonder his is known as Stryker Guy/Cover Girl!
As SG said, "Three days of rain
made him look like the
Unabomber!


Powered by Pop Tarts (see, we told you!), facing winds, rain, black bears and long periods of solo riding, our hero has accomplished his goal and has made the Nation proud!


Congratulations Stryker Guy and the Nation looks forward to hearing all about the ride upon your triumphant return to the peloton!


Well done!



SG was powered by Pop Tarts!
The choice of Champions!
























BANJOVI BACK AT THE KLUTCH FRIDAY, AUGUST 12, 

2016


Belo News
August 3, 2016



Galesburg, Mi. - Back by popular demand, those musicians of the peloton are returning to where their music legend began! For those of you who've been asking, the boy's return to the Koffee Klutch a week from Friday, on August 12, 2016 from 6:30-8:30 p.m.!


They've got some new songs, including Sharkman's rendition of “Don't Pet the Dog!” You won't want to miss that one!


Come on out and enjoy the food, the friends and the music! Become a Banjovi Witness!







Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.