SHARKMAN BEATS THE IRON HORSE!

A STORY OF SPILLS, THRILLS, FAMILY BETRAYAL!

YETI BOY, MINIONS, CONQUER THE MOUNTAINS!

THE GREAT MOULTINI, DURANGO KID AND MORE!



Belo News

Durango, CO.

May 29, 2010

Durango, CO. – A story of conquering a steam engine, mountains, crashes and family betrayal unfolded at the 2010 Iron Horse Race in this great mountain town this day!

Come with us as we weave this story of our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, along with Minions Yeti Boy, the Great Moultini (his Santa Fe, NM-based son-in-law) and the Chairman of the Durango Minions West Chapter, the Durango Kid (Jim Abbey, Yeti Boy’s brother-in-law)!

Our story begins when our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, awakes to the sound of the Animas River as the early morning light breaks on the bedroom window of the beautiful home of the Durango Kid and his lovely bride, Toni.

The Sharkman had been training months for this day. And now it was here: Time for the Iron Horse Race from Durango to Silverton: 50 miles across two mountain passes, with 6,700 feet of total climbing and a top elevation 10,900 ft! Knee busting climbs and terrifying, white knuckle descents! Is this a great country or what? Who thinks this stuff up?

All the arrangements had been made by the Sharkman’s hosts, the Durango Kid and the lovely Toni. Their beautiful mountain home, unbelievable cuisine, and fantastic hospitality made our Minions rested and prepared for the day’s knee busting climbs and terrifying descents.

Toni left at 7:00 A.M. with food and adult beverages as the roads to Silverton closed early for the race. At 7:30 A.M. the Minions rode the 5 miles to the start in fantastic weather, light breeze, high 40s, and full sun. They actually began to shed jackets on the way to the start.

1,430 riders out of the 1,500 who entered were ready to click in and race the Iron Horse train. As they approached the start, the Iron Horse whistle could be heard in the station, as if to challenge the riders at the start. The pro/race division of the event had launched out at 7:30 A.M. while the “tour” division, which our Minions were a part of, was scheduled to leave with the train.

As scheduled, at 8:15 A.M. the Iron Horse whistle blew, a puff of smoke bellowed from its stack and the race officially began.

With 1,430 riders, the start was crowded and fast! The train chugged along, at times just a few yards to the right from the mass of riders, as the Minions tried to avoid the inevitable hiccups of a mass start. Police cars lead the peloton out of town as the Sharkman, Moultini, Durango Kid and Yeti Boy were cruising. But it was not long before the group lost contact with Yeti Boy. His host and brother-in-law, the Durango Kid, stated he would go back to check on Yeti and the Sharkman and GM would not see the two Minions again until the end of this phenomenal odyssey.

The first part of the course was mostly flat, with a few rolling hills. Sharkman and Moultini jumped on to several different pace lines, charging towards the first climb, at times hitting speeds of 25-28 mph. At 14 miles, Sharkman noticed his average speed at 22.1!

Sharkman and Moultini were feeling pretty good about then, thinking that it was only a 36 mile race at this point! Everything was going according to plan. Initially, the Sharkman told himself he would be happy with just finishing, but in the back of our hero’s head was the thought that he wanted to beat the train.

Then, realization hit as the first climb began!

The first climb, the Shalona Hill, was a steady, unrelenting, and about 10 miles long. The small peloton they had been a part of splintered. Sharkman and Moultini traded pulls as the speeds dropped dramatically to 6-7 mph.

After the long stomp up the first hill ended, the Sharkman was feeling pretty good, thinking it was now only a 25 mile race. He rolled across an undulating part of the course known as Animas flats, when, just before the first major climb, up to Coal Bank Pass, began, a rider next to the Sharkman mentioned that the “real race” began at the hairpin just after Purgatory!

Purgatory? Purgatory? Sharkman did not like the sound of “Purgatory!” [Ed’s note: Purgatory is now officially called Durango Mountain Resort, but locals still refer to it by its old name.]

But then, just as predicted, as the peloton moved past the resort and the hairpin turn, an enormous climb beckoned our mighty hero ahead!

Game on! The real race had just begun.

Shorter but steeper than the first climb--Coal Bank Pass has an average grade of 6.7%--this was a true mountain stage!

It was during this climb that Sharkman began to lose contact with the Great Moultini. This was like the col de Twin Lakes, only never ending and much steeper! It was then that the Sharkman shouted out to the Great Moultini, “Don’t wait for me! Someone in the family has to beat the train!”

The Sharkman knew he still had a shot, albeit maybe a long one, at beating the machine. But he was losing time now, there was still another major pass after this one, and the thought of falling behind was working its way into the Sharkman’s psyche. Sharkman’s compact needed one more gear, as he continued to will his shark legs to keep pumping up the grade.

When his back began to ache, he would drop a couple of gears and stand in the pedals. He quickly learned he could pick up the pace, and caught up to and leapfrogged just ahead of Moultini. A band and woman on impossibly high stilts signified they were close to the top.

As Sharkman and Moultini crested the pass, they pulled over to quickly top off their water bottles at the aid station, before the race’s first major descent! Sharkman felt like a rocket as he blasted down the pass. At times, the wind would catch his wheels and push him sideways, scaring the hell out of our normally fearless hero! Riders dropped like rocks down the pass trying to make up the lost time on the climb. Sharkman hit speeds of 40 mph, the smell of his brake pads wafting up his shark snout, as other riders still passed by him despite what he thought was a break neck speed!

After the screaming, TK-mile descent, there were only 11 or so miles to go, four up and then seven back down to Silverton, the real possibility of beating the train played on our hero’s mind!

Then the final, but thankfully slightly shorter climb beckoned just ahead. The feared Molas Pass called the riders to a height of 10,900 ft in just over 4 miles of climb!

As Molas began to kick up gradually, and the fate of Yeti Boy and the Durango Kid still unknown, Sharkman and Moultini made their assault on the last climb. Sharkman down-shifted and thought he felt his chain break. He was relieved to see that he had only thrown his chain to the inside. As he pulled over to the side of the road, he shouted out to his son-in-law, “I threw my chain!”

It was then that the incident that has since become to be known as the “family betrayal” took place. The Great Moultini looked back as if to say, “Sharkman? Sharkman who?” He slowed down a bit to allow the Sharkman to catch back up. But, just a few moments later, he overheard two riders next to him talking to each other. One made the comment that it was going to be close: “if we’re gonna beat the train, we need to pick it up!” Moultini panicked. This was it, the final climb, and there was still a chance to beat the steam engine. He looked back for the Sharkman, but couldn’t see him.

Feeling conflicted, but remembering what the Sharkman had said earlier—“someone in the family has to beat the train!”--the Sharkman’s own son- in-law left Sharkman to fend for himself. [Ed’s note: This is true. I felt bad about it, but rationalized it this way: he told me one of us had to beat it, and maybe chasing me would spur him on to ride faster. Truthfully, I just REALLY wanted to beat the frickin’ train.]

Meanwhile, the Sharkman was able to quickly get his chain back on, but the Great Moultini was no where to be seen! Had our hero lost his bid to beat the train? No way! After all , he is our Hero, right?

Sharkman made the final climb through a hairpin turn with a head wind, only to turn the corner and look hundreds of feet below to see the City of Silverton! Seven miles of mountain switch back descent to go and all the Sharkman could think of were two things. Would he survive? And if he did, would he beat the frickin’ train? According to his calculations, if the train was on time, he wasn’t going to do it. But several riders had mentioned that it often runs a few minutes late. There was a chance and the Sharkman tucked into his bike.

The side wind was ferocious as our hero dropped like a stone to the City below!

Sharkman’s arms and shoulders began to ache as he rode the drops and frequently squeezed the brake levers as the wind pushed him around the road. It sure was more difficult to control a mountain descent than it looked on TV at the Tour de France!

On the final descent into Silverton, Sharkman looked to his right and saw the Iron Horse moving up the valley, smoke spewing, whistle blowing! Our hero now knew he would narrowly beat the Iron Horse Train!

As he rode down Main Street in Silverton, the fans began shouting, “Beat the Train, beat the Train!”

To the chants of his many fans, Sharkman hit 23 mph hour as he now knew he had beaten the Iron Horse!

As he passed the finish and made it through the final shoot, he found the Great Moultini waiting for him with a big smile on his face! “We beat the fricken’ Train!” was all that could be heard from the two intrepid riders! [Ed’s note: This is true, too. I still can’t believe it. While it was relatively calm when I finished, just a few minutes earlier, the crowd erupted as the train pulled into town. Everyone was chanting; it was chaotic. I saw Sharkman finish, dismount, and as we celebrated his photo finish, the train blew its final whistle.]

As the two tired and hungry Minions worked their way to pick up their T Shirts, Yeti Boy came up behind them! He had come in either with the train or just behind it. [Ed’s note: Yeti Boy is a force of a nature. I still can’t believe how strong he is.]

Yeti Boy then told the incredible story of how he and the Durango Kid were motoring just behind Sharkman at the start when at about the 3-4 mile point a rider went down and a major pile up occurred.

While Yeti Boy was able to maneuver into a ditch to avoid crashing, the Durango Kid had to “bunny hop” over a downed rider and ended up crashing, going down hard, and injuring both his hand and hip. Yeti Boy, being the good brother-in-law and Minion that he is, stayed with the Kid, (well, for a while anyway, after all, someone in their family had to beat the train, even though the Durango Kid is a veteran of the Iron Horse and had beaten the train before) which delayed them some 15 minutes or so.

Manning up big time, the Durango Kid remounted and with Yeti Boy at his side, took off to catch the peloton! Somewhere along the line, though it is suspected it occurred when Yeti Boy stopped to use a port-a-john, the two got separated and did not see each other until the finish.

Moments later, the Durango Kid arrived! Incredibly, both Yeti Boy and the Durango Kid had been delayed by crashes and a port-a-john stop, yet nearly beat the train! Are these Minions studs or what? Nothing stops a Minion! Well, maybe a port-a-john…….

It was a victory for Miniondom!

The intrepid Mighty Minion Nation then collected their Iron Horse T Shirts and went on to find the Team Toni car, where they changed clothes and indulged in beer and the most delicious sandwiches they’d ever tasted!

The partying and the stories then began in earnest! Actually, there was no shutting up the Minions for the next two days and Toni is to be credited for her patience in listening to the ever increasing stories of the epic ride! (Actually, they still haven’t stopped talking about this event!) [Ed’s note: Guilty as charged. The Sharkman, for his part, still hasn’t taken off his Iron Horse t-shirt, while I’m calling up old friends I haven’t spoken to in years, saying things like: “How are the wife and kids? Did I tell you I beat the train this weekend?”]

Final statistics - 13.9 mph average speed (recorded by Sharkman), 6,700 ft. of climb, 10,900 ft. top mountain pass height, one crash, one port-a-john stop, 41.1 mph max speed (recorded by Yeti Boy) unknown number of sandwiches and beers consumed and unbound enthusiasm released. Priceless!

At the Press Conference the questions centered around the epic ride of the Durango Kid, surviving crashes and gutting out 47 miles of pain while Yeti Boy shared his secrets for slow port-a-john stops.

In celebration of the event, this Saturday’s ride has been declared “Iron Horse Jersey” Day! Come on out and see the Iron Horse Jersey’s proudly worn by these mountain veterans!

You won’t want to miss the next ride to hear all the stories of the Iron Horse from the Sharkman and Yeti boy themselves!

Launch time is being moved up to 8:00 A.M. with the warmer weather.

8:00 A.M. Launch Time – SHARP!

Be there!

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A WEEK MAKES!

WILD RIDE? AND A WORD FROM SHARKMAN!

SHARKMAN IN ‘OUTSIDE MAGAZINE?’

AIRMAN & CLOUD GIRL SIGN AUTOGRAPHS!

BEER RIDE AND MORE!


Belo News

Galesburg, Mi.

May 15, 2010

Galesburg, Mi. – From rains of “Biblical Proportions” to sweet, warm sunshine! What a difference a week makes! The sun broke bright over the Shark Cove for Saturday’s ride and though a tad nippy, it was a glorious morning for a ride! So glorious, even Rainman showed up.

Fifteen mighty Minions were in attendance for the ride, chomping at the bit to get going after the one week lay off. The sartorial splendor was beyond description and the Minions were looking good. Several riders were wearing Custer Cyclery Jersey’s (Sharkman didn’t get the memo) except for the guy who actually owns Custer Cyclery. Danimal, who does own Custer Cyclery, was sporting the new Oberon Race Jersey and looking quite dapper before covering it with…..a Custer Cyclery wind jacket!

Meanwhile, Rainmain had on a pair of white, yes you’re read that correctly, white riding shoes. He looked fast just standing still and certainly must be confident in his manhood wearing white shoes before Memorial Day! There were so many riders, it is difficult to name them all, but a returning Minion from a couple of years ago was back on a new steed. Alan Gravely, now known as Wilier Boy, was back from a stint working in Canada and you guessed it, was riding a beautiful Wilier carbon fiber machine! Welcome back Wilier Boy!

As the peloton rode past the Klutch, Luann came out front to cheer the mighty Minion Nation on as they rode past in their sartorial splendor in the bright morning light. She shouted out that she had missed the Minions and decided to come to work to see the Minions ride! God love ya, Luann!

As has become the norm, Gazelle Girl caught on north of town and was greeted with shouts of “Gazelle Girl!” and the ride got started in earnest and got started fast!

Hoosier Boy, Chumly and A-Rod led our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, out to the first sprint and things began to get crazy after that. Sharkman later commented at the Press Conference that he may have to give up the Honorary First Sprint as it is too fast, too early for an old Shark!

The speed picked up tremendously as a few Minions began fighting it out at the front of the peloton. Riders started to get spit out the back at the climb to the summit of the col de Twin Lakes.

Sharkman went back for riders, and the peloton moved to the Rt. 89 crossing. Some Minions made the crossing and performed a “rolling stop” which basically means, they kept going. Those who had waited had to furiously ride to catch back on, including our intrepid hero, the Sharkman. The ride through the Country Club section and up to the Rt. 43 sprint hit record speeds and caused the peloton to split apart. Though the Sharkman was able to get the peloton to slow at the Rt. 43 stop, the speed immediately picked up and another “rolling stop” took place at the summit of the col de Norte.

(REMINDER – One of the Minion Credo's is – “We leave no Minion behind!” The Commissioner of Cycling (that would be Sharkman) wants to remind all Minions that we stop at all Stop Signs to see if we have all Minions accounted for. If a Minion is having a bad day and instructs others to go ahead, that is fine, but we don’t want to have a mechanical or an injury and not stop to assist. No more rolling stops. (In a related story, see the definition of a Minion below.)

The pace stayed so hot that the Minions did not form up into their usual pace lines after the crossing at the Digital Divide through the 3G Zone.

As the Minions lined up for the finish, Mike Miller, herein known as the Tow Truck, took the front of a hard driving pace line and did a humongous pull with Falcon, Sharkman, A-Rod and the Mighty Minion Nation on his wheel.

At the top of the final summit to the finish, the Tow Truck pulled aside and let the peloton by. Falcon took the finish and A-Rod caught Sharkman before the final tape knocking our intrepid hero to the third spot on the podium. Final finish speed average was an astonishing season high of 20 mph!

The fans went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the Minions straggled in from their season record high speed romp. The tofosi and paparazzi was waiting at the Klutch as one of the two “in couples” of Miniondom, Airman and Cloud Girl, made an appearance to sign autographs with their dog, Lacie.

(Who is the other “couple of Miniondom” you might ask? That would be Rainman and Tardette and we’ve not had a Tardette sighting this year! (see WANTED ITEM below.) (Of course THE First Couple of cycling is none other than Sharkman and Lava Girl!)

You can check out all the photos at the new Shark Minion Photo link courtesy of Nikeboy. By the way, did anyone else notice the new Porsche Team Car this week? Does Sharkman know how to line up team cars or what?

Nikeboy did require Sharkman to put his “things” that he wanted taken home on the floor of the car and not on the “leather seats.” What was that all about?

Check out the pics!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/23853130@N05/

NEW TEAM MASCOT?

May 15, 2010
Galesburg, Mi.

Galesburg, Mi. – A new Minion Mascot was named on Saturday when Airman and Cloud Girl brought their dog, Lacie to the Klutch for the post race activity. Since the Minions don’t have a mascot like the San Diego Chicken, Sparty, Bucky Badger or a Wolverine, and since it would really really be hard to have a Shark Mascot, an immediate motion was made to make Lacie the Team Mascot. So moved and seconded. Please join us in welcoming Lacie as our new Official Team Dog and mascot! (this will be a great trivia question at cocktail parties in future years…..”So, who was the official team dog and mascot for the Minions in 2010?.... answer?….Who were the Minions?)



WANTED - TARDETTE!

May 20, 2010
Battle Creek, Mi.

Battle Creek, Mi. – As anyone seen this woman? The other half of one of the two “In Couples of Cycling” has not been seen this season. Reports indicate that she had gone over to the dark side and has taken up running and has joined the Michigan Race Circuit. Known in the peloton as Tardette, we haven’t seen her on the bike or even for Koffee this year. What’s that all about?

The Commissioner of Cycling is offering a reward for information leading to the whereabouts of Tardette. If you are aware of Tardette’s whereabouts, please send the information in a self addressed envelope addressed to the Shark Cove, Battle Creek Mi, along with a check made out to Sharkman in the amount of $50.00 to cover the cost of further investigative initiatives. If the subject is located, you will get a kup of koffee at the Klutch. Everybody wins! Come on, someone must know where she is hiding!

NEW DATE FOR THE BEER RIDE!
FRIDAY, JUNE 18, 2010!


Due to popular demand, the date for the Beer Ride has been changed to Friday, June 18, 2010 so more people can make it!

The Info
What’s happening? A casual beer ride from Arcadia to Bell’s. Emphasis on beer and fun. This isn’t a race.

How far is the ride? The full ride is about 27 miles. Arcadia to Barking Frog is about 12 miles and the last 15 miles is from Barking Frog to Bell’s.

I like beer. When’s this happening? Friday afternoon ride from Arcadia Brewery in Battle Creek to Bell’s Brewery in Kalamazoo. June 18, 2010.

When are we rolling? Noon brew at Arcadia followed by an approximate 12:30/1:00 start

Will there be a T shirt? – Oh, yeah! What’s a great ride without a great T shirt!

For more information, contact the Sharkman!


WHAT IS A MINION?

We thought with all the new Minions this year, we might define what a true Minion is;

In addition to complete and utter allegiance to our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, a Minion is a person who loves to bike and enjoys some spirited competition but also appreciates the social aspect of riding and has limited time to do it. Minions are people who have families, jobs, kids, soccer, little league and responsibilities that come before cycling and do not have time to ride every day, ride over 100-150 miles per week and become what we have come to know as “Hammer Heads.”

Minions are riders who try to get the most out of the limited riding time they have in their otherwise busy lives. The Minion KK-TdG ride allows riders who want to “hammer,” to do so between stop signs. To contest sprints and have a good time but also a Minion waits for and watches out for the riders who may be new to the peloton, have an injury or a mechanical, or just having a bad day.

Minions would love to compete at a higher level, but just can’t put in the time it takes to do so, so they use the KK-TdG to get their riding and competitive “fix” in on Saturday mornings. Minions all have come to realize that it is more about the camaraderie and friendship than about kicking butt, even though it is fun to kick butt once and a while, between stop signs.

There are many opportunities to race or even take part in a harder ride than the KK-TdG. There is the Tuesday Night Chain Gang, the Wednesday Night Hammerfest, the Friday Night TdG, to name a few. And many Minions also avail themselves of these other rides.

But each ride has its own personality and those rides aren’t the same as the KK-TdG for a reason. It’s about the fun, the pure joy of riding with your friends on Saturday morning, its about getting a chance to sprint and also seeing a new rider improve their skills on the bike. And it is about a great Kup of Joe at the Klutch, talking after a great ride, with those other riders who appreciate that it is about the bike and about the quality of the ride and the friends, not how many miles or sprints you win. Oh, and it is about the Koffee! Ah, nothing like a dark roast bottomless kup at the Klutch, yeah, that too…….

That’s what being a Minion, is all about!

SHARKMAN FEATURED IN THE OUTSIDE BUYERS GUIDE!

Santa Fe, NM. – Yes, it is true! The Sharkman is featured in the new Outside Magazines Buyers Guide! The new Outside Magazine Buyers Guide is on newsstands now and the Sharkman’s photo is on page 6 along with OBG Editor and Sharkman’s Son-in-Law Sam Moulton. Sharkman’s review of the Pearl Izumi P.R.O. Leader Bib Shorts can be found on page 104. (And he got to keep the shorts! Is this a great country or what?)

We know that this edition will be flying off the shelves in Western Michigan so don’t wait to pick yours up. Get out there now! Sharkman will be available to sign copies of the magazine during the post race activities this Saturday at the Klutch. So you won’t want to miss this Saturday’s ride!

SATURDAY’S RIDE!

May 22, 2010 – Launch Time – 8:30 A.M. – SHARP!

Be there!

HOOSIER BOY SHOWS UP IN THE RAIN!

JUST IN!


HOOSIER BOY SHOWED WHY HE IS THE MAN!



Belo News
Galesburg, Mi.
May 8, 2010



Galesburg, Mi. - In an exclusive investigative report, Belo News has learned that one intrepid rider DID show up to ride on the only rain out day this year. Yes, Hoosier Boy, that crazy Indiana Alum was just crazy enough to show up! When asked what he was thinking, he commented, "it wasn't raining when I got there....."



O.K. Hoosier Boy, you win! Craziest Minion in the peloton! And that says a lot!

Is this man a stud or what? Way to go Hoosier Boy!

LET'S TRY IT AGAIN SATURDAY!

WOLF KING, BISSELL BOY & DR. DAVE AT THE KLUTCH!

FORECAST FOR A DRY SATURDAY!

RIDE STATUS AT THE BLOG!

Belo News

Galesburg, Mi.

May, 2010

Galesburg, Mi. - For those of you who regularly check Belo News, you saw the headlines that read it was too cold and wet to ride last Satuday.

The calls started coming into the Sharkman around 7:30 a.m. asking about launch, but unless you were calling from under the covers or from a basement apartment, all you had to do was look out the window. What was apparent was that the trees were bending at a 45 degree angle and the rain was hitting the window like someone was cleaning your siding with a power hose!

One call was from the Wolf King who at first, tried to claim that he had ridden, but later confessed that he was at the Klutch trying to warm up after the coldest kid soccer game he'd ever been to. Sustained 30 mph winds and spitting rain, Wolf King said it was a wild morning. Later in the morning, Dr. Dave sent in the attached photo and stated that Bissell Boy was also at the Klutch trying to warm up after soccer.

Let's hope this Saturday will be more dry! Come on out and see!

As a procedural matter, it has been determined that if the ride is declared as cancelled, due to the weather, Belo News will try to post that information. If nothing is posted, Sharkman will be making the determination at the start. So from now on, if there is any doubt on a Saturday morning, you can check the blog!

SATURDAY RIDE!

So, let's try this again!

Saturday, May 15, 2010

LAUNCH TIME - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!

41 - FEELS LIKE 32! NO WAY

MINIONS RAINED OUT!

Belo News

Galesburg, Mi.

May8, 2010

Galesburg, Mi. - The temperature read, "41 degrees, feels like 32" as 8:30 a.m. rolled around on the Shark clock. Sharkman had been watching the radar since 6:30 a.m. and just when it looked like it might clear, another big splotch of green would appear over the field of dreams we all know as the Koffee Kluth Tour de Gull. Sharkman received some calls and exchanged some emails but finally at 8:00 a.m. even our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, decided it was too cold and wet to venture out to ride.

Stay tuned for next weeks ride and if you did show up at the start, write something up and we'll post it!

Enjoy riding your trainers, Minions!

KID DOSTER TAKES THE TAPE!

HUTCH, HOOSIER BOY AND BOATMAN RETURN!

SQUEAKY IN CYCLING KIT?

OH, YEAH!



Belo News

Galesburg, Mi.

May1, 2010

Galesburg, Mi. – After beating the rain the previous week, it seemed highly doubtful that the Minions could do it again. Though our Minions will not start in the rain, they certainly seem to ride with the imminent threat of rain!

Hey, if those Belgian guys can go out in the rain and snow to drink beer and WATCH cycling, Michigan Minions should have no problem going out and riding with the threat of rain, right?

As the Sharkman leaped from his bed on Saturday morning it was again one of those days where he just didn’t know whether he’d be able to ride or not. As he bent over the green glow of the Shark Radar while sipping his first kup of Joe, a smile came over his face as it looked like the there might be some clearing behind the huge green cloud of rain over western Michigan. Now, too wide awake to crawl back into his fish bed, he was dressed and in the garage before he could give sleep another thought.

As the garage door lifted and he got his faithful titanium steed ready, Nikeboy, standing in his yard, newspaper under his arm and sipping his first kup of Joe, shouted across the cul de sac to his leader that he has just cleaned his bike and was not riding over if the roads were still wet.

Game on! Sharkman took off in the warm, damp air on the rain wet roads, but at least it was not raining!

Sharkman headed over to the start early, concerned that the reported strong SSW winds would slow him down. But the winds were more out of the south and he was at the start by 8:15 A.M. and not a single Minion was in sight. The thought crossed his mind that perhaps, after all these year’s, no one else would be crazy enough to show up for the ride.

As 8:23 pm rolled around, the Shark was assessing whether he would ride the course alone or just stop at the Klutch for a Kup and then head home in the rain. But first A-Rod pulled in to the parking lot, followed by Yeti Boy, Kid Doster and making his first appearance of the year, Hoosier Boy!

Within minutes, Squeaky appeared and he was actually wearing cycling kit! Yes, you heard that right, ….helmet with no wool stocking cap, a jersey and real bike shorts and…..one winter glove. Squeaky explained that after all the ink he got in Belo News concerning his sartorial splendor after his last appearance, he had to upgrade his kit, however, he never did explain the one winter glove. Speculation centered on anything from a new way to regulate his body temperature to a tribute to Michael Jackson. This may very well stay a mystery; however the cycling world is abuzz as to whether everyone will be wearing one glove next week to emulate the now famous rider!

Guest riders Mike Miller, Mark Allen and another Mike also rode in with Stryker Guy (minus Hockey Boy) and Hutch, who was returning for his first appearance of the season! Welcome back Hutch and Hoosier Boy!

All this in just 7 minutes!

Though it looked like it could start raining any minute, the roads were dry and the air was warm as the intrepid mighty Minion Nation clicked in and headed out on the road.

As the train headed north of town Gazelle Girl jumped on to a shout of “Hey Gazelle Girl!” and then they were 11.

Hoosier Boy and Hutch, feeling frisky after their winter hibernation, lead out our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, to the first sprint. As the peloton headed towards the col de Twin Lakes, Boatman, making his first appearance of the year, jumped on to the spirited group of riders! Welcome back Boatman!

At the base of the col de Twin Lakes, Sharkman made a move and in a very rare occurrence, possibly never to be repeated, he took the summit of the col de Twin lakes! As our hero crested the summit, Yeti Boy went around him followed by Mike Miller and Mark Allen. Sharkman latched on to their wheels. Yeti Boy gave a humongous pull and as the sprint got closer, all three went around him with Mike taking the sprint. Yeti Boy stated during the press conference that he had thought the stop ahead sign was closer.

The group seemed to get more social through the Country Club section than in previous weeks, though Mark Allen and the other Mike both pealed off to head home. Up until this point the riders had benefited from a huge wind out of the south, south west and at the summit of the col de Norte the opposite was quite apparent. Additionally, one of the locals in a Subaru Wagon was not enamored with the rider’s, either that or he loved the horn on his car, as he kept honking as he passed the riders. Actually, he seemed to be so enamored with the horn he had trouble driving the car straight!

The riders headed straight into the wind, but it didn’t seem to prompt any attempt at a pace line as the riders made their way through the Bible Conference Hills, on past Frona’s and into the Inlet. As the Mighty Minion Nation made their way over the Digital Divide, Sharkman hurried to the front and began to organize, what became, a very impressive pace line.

With the wind out of the SSW, the Minions formed up what they consider to be a reverse pace line with the slow side on the right and the faster line on the left or inside of the road. The pace line worked extremely well as the peloton entered the 3G Zone. With little room left to the G Ave. sprint, Yeti Boy found himself at the front and with encouragement from Sharkman he took off for the sprint. Gazelle Girl, who was at the back of the peloton, made a valiant effort to take her coveted 3G Zone sprint with a phenomenal burst of speed, but Yeti Boy took the line by a fraction of a centimeter!

As peloton got to the 3G Zone someone said there was a rider off the back and the group stopped only to learn it was Hutch who was missing and he had informed Sharkman that he was pealing off to head home.

That’s when it happened….as Yeti Boy was standing still, he dropped his water bottle and when he attempted to pick it up his size 13 foot slipped (hard to believe a foot that size would slip) and down he went. First crash of the season, as un-ceremonial as it was, seemed to be a minor but amusing distraction as the peloton formed up once again for the final sprint.

As the pace line headed south, none other than Nikeboy, who had ridden over to escort the Sharkman home, jumped into the mix for the first time this year. Welcome back Nikeboy (though he has been our celebrity photographer this season, it was his first time back out on the bike!)!

The pace line picked up almost instantly and was hitting speeds of 24-25 mph as it approached the final hill and began to disintegrate.

As the mighty Minion Nation crested the hill and began the descent, Hoosier Boy took off and Sharkman latched on to his wheel like a dog on a meat wagon.

Riding Hoosier Boys wheel like a rented mule, Sharkman could see a pack of minions in his mirror clamoring behind him, grinning and waiting to strike! Knowing that they would move as soon as he did, and thinking his only chance was to wait until the very last second to make a move, he sat in for as long as he could.

With less than 50 yards to go Sharkman started to move around Hoosier Boy and Kid Doster, Boatman and A-Rod were right there to counter attack. Kid Doster took the tape going away, while Boatman finished second and A-Rod edged out the old, very tired Shark from a podium finish.

The threat of rain, again held down the crowds along the Champs le Galesburg, but the Klutch was abuzz with Paparazzi and Tofosi clamoring for interviews with the riding hero’s.

After the Press Conference the riders dispersed and there was still no rain. Nikeboy escorted the Sharkman back to the Cove where he had to wash his faithful steed after riding over on the wet roads. It was a mess.

Will it rain next week? Will it be cold AND rainy? Who the hell knows, come on out and see for yourself!

SATURDAY’S RIDE!

May 8, 2010 – Launch Time – 8:30 A.M. – SHARP!

Be there!