ALL BLACK TAKES IT ALL!

WHERE ARE ALL THE MINIONS!

SHARKMAN’S RETURN?

NEW BEER JERSEY’S?


Belo News
September 24, 2011


Galesburg, Mi. – Stories had been rampant in cycling circles of the recent disappearance of our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, as he had been AWOL for a couple of weeks. However, not to be deterred, the irascible rider returned to the Minion Nation on Saturday only to find the population in the peloton continuing to decline. That time of year, we assume, but the numbers are way down for the KK-TdG Saturday adventure.

Sharkman was out in San Francisco on Sharklet Sitting duty (note photo of him visiting the Palo Alto Bike Shop!) and doing the Brew Ride from Arcadia to the Darkhorse Brewery in Marshal, Mi. (see photo with Lava Girl and Yeti Boy)

As our hero mounted his steed for the ride over to the start, it was a bit foggy and damp, but the sunrise looked promising as the Sharkman made his way to the start.

As he pedaled down from the Eaton Plant, he was a bit surprised as two young men with a striking resemblance to Bevis and Butthead approached on his left on a small motor scooter and scared the bejezus out of him when they shouted, “Do you know the way to Augusta?”

Since it was around 7:40 a.m., the road was abandoned, and one would think anyone on a motor scooter, with no helmets, hoodies and stocking caps on that road would know where Augusta would be, the Sharkman was a bit perplexed in addition to startled.

The two wayward riders slowed and asked the question a second time, to which our hero told them how to get to Augusta. We here at Belo News would like to know the rest of THAT story……

As Sharkman pulled into the start, Stingray was driving in followed by All Black and Stryker Guy on bikes. The Mighty Minion Nation, which was a total of 4 Mighty Minions, waited an extra couple of minutes to see who else might join on, but to no avail.

As the train headed north, the legendary Gazelle Girl jumped on to a roar from the four, “Gazelle Girl!” had joined on!

Sharkman took his place at the front for the first sprint, edging out Gazelle Girl and moved ahead to take his normal count of Minions at the G crossing. Yep, still only 5 Mighty Minions.

All Black, feeling quite “frisky” took the next sprint with Stryker Guy and Stingray on his wheel, as Sharkman shared his motor scooter story with Gazelle Girl at the back.

As the Nation moved up the col de Twin Lakes, the Sharkman could feel the lack of miles in his legs, but the Minions were all waiting for him at the top. There after, the ride became very mellow with each of the riders taking turns at the front and in sprints.

As the morning went on remarkably quick, the sun also started to shine and a glorious dawn broke over the course the Minions call their “field of dreams” known as the KK-TdG. Is there anything more beautiful than a fall, misty morning around Gull Lake? Is this a great country or what?

All that was left was the finish!

After the pace line worked well together coming to the G Spot, the riders lined up for the finale. All Black, still showing signs of “friskiness” went to the front for his impersonation of Tow Truck and/or Hossman. He worked so hard that Stryker Guy started to worry for him and went around him to take a turn at the pull. But All Black was not to be denied!

Gazelle Girl dropped off to get something to mail at the Post Office after checking to see who was stopping for koffee as the Mighty Minion Train bore down on the finish line.

This was one train that would not be derailed, with All Black acting as the locomotive, he chugged his way at the front to take the Nation home! All Black’s pull was so long and powerful, no Minion dared to make a move on him as he took his first win in 4 years!

Is this a great country or what?!?! It was a victory for America!!!

As the sun exploded over the Champs le Galesburg, the riders zipped up their jerseys and waved to the crowds as they went wild over All Blacks stunning victory!

The riders all stopped at the Klutch to help All Black celebrate his win and Gazelle Girl came in after picking up her envelope for the Post Office. All Black signed autographs and gave a press conference while Sharkman regaled the riders with stories of cross country childhood vacations in huge old cars before expressways!

The season seems to be winding down early this year and Sharkman reports that he will be moving to the mountain bike in a couple weeks in preparation for Iceman. Additionally, he will again be AWOL this Saturday as he leaves the Cove for a Golf Weekend with friends down south (yes, you heard that right, Sharkman also plays golf though not very well…..).

So this Saturday, October 1, 2011, will be the last road ride of the year as the peloton moves to Ft. Custer. Watch for more information on Ft. Custer rides in next week’s blog.

This Saturday, October 1, 2011

The weather is looking dry, but a bit chilly, but it is……

The last Minion Road Ride, Sans Sharkman unfortunately….

Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. – SHARP!


IT’S MOUNTAIN BIKE SEASON! OH, YEAH!

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Ft. Custer Ride

Launch time and place TBD….watch the Belo News for more information!

Come on out and help Sharkman get back into shape!



LOOKING FOR A BEER JERSEY?

Belo News
September 28, 2011

Battle Creek, Mi. – Our “some times” Minion, Da Yoop, sent us a link to some really cool Beer Bike Jersey’s. For those Minions who are tired of wearing another Oberon Jersey next year, and are looking for some fun and interesting beer jerseys, we’ve got the link for you! Click on the site and wow the Minions on the next Beer Jersey Day!

http://bicycle-gifts.com/jersey.htm

THE MINIONS NEXT ADVENTURE RACE?

Belo News
September 28, 2011

Battle Creek, Mi. – Speaking of fun….we were speaking of fun, weren’t we? Theses links will take you on a wild ride that we are thinking the Minions might want to go on!

Enjoy!

Trikes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRD8AUg2ApE

Urban Mountain Biking in Chile

http://www.wimp.com/urbanchile/

What was 4, then 8 and ended in 6??

Answer: The Minion Ride last Saturday!

Belo News

September 17, 2011

Reporter: Stryker Guy

Galesburg, Mi. - The “lonely” Stryker Guy navigated through the dark woods to the Minion meeting spot only to find Brewman dressed for the cold, circling the parking lot. Toast emerged from behind the school building (must have been checking the architecture). Out of nowhere popped Squeaky in his Mariachis outfit. The band of four looked, hoped, waited for others, but that was it and off we went.

Past the Klutch, the throngs waiting for the peleton were a little surprised to see only four riders ready to attack the course. After discussing how hard (easy) we were going to go, we ran into Gazelle Girl and Falcon with his headlamp. Somehow we knew the pace would pick up.

We were assured of this when Dutch joined the group somewhere before the first sprint.

Squeaky won the sprint by a tire length, but that was to be his last hurrah as the parachute jacket and matching pants outfit started to take its toll on the Squeaker.

The few and proud attacked the Col de Twin Lakes with their usual tenacity and sprinted to the next stop. By this time Squeaky looked like Snoopy at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade. We were surprised he was able to stay on his bike and not float over the top of us.

Falcon began a series of kicking everyone’s butt on every sprint as the boys and girl decided he was too tough and we were too hung over.

Danimal joined the crowd at the Country Club claiming something about forgetting what time it started and that he already did most of the ride…we of course made him get out and pull for the next 7 miles as punishment.
Unfortunately Squeaky dropped off because he forgot to put his ankle weights on along with the parachute outfit.

Eventually Danimal dropped at Frona’s to head back to work a bit upset that he had to pull the entire way.

After another Falcon win at the G spot (is that what it’s called?) the group of six headed for the last leg of the course. Stryker guy (I have to put my name in since I am writing this) pulled up the final hill knowing full well that he would get passed like a kidney stone shortly. He was not disappointed as everyone blew by him like he was fixing a tire including an 85 year old grandmother with a basket on the front of her bike.

Not sure who made it to the Klutch—no more than five unless the grandmother showed up.

Editors Note - Thanks Stryker Guy for filling in and well done!

The Sharkman Returns this Saturday!

Yes, the Sharkman returns this Saturday, so you will want to be there to see how much weight he has put on and witness how badly he has fallen out of shape!

Saturday, 24, 2011

Launch Time - 8:00 A.M. - Sharp!

Be there!

RAINED OUT?!

NO WAY!

Belo News
September 10, 2011

Galesburg, Mi. – The big question in cycling circles this past week has been, “did anyone ride last week?”

Early Saturday morning, our intrepid hero got an email from Falcon asking if he was going to ride. Since Sharkman was in McHenry Illinois, he certainly wasn’t riding (obviously, Falcon is not reading the Belo News! What is that all about?). He also realized that the only times he gets emails like that is when it is raining (or snowing)!

Later that same day, Sharkman sent out a couple of emails asking if anyone had ridden, but everyone said it was raining too hard and they did not go to the start. If he sends out a mass email, he usually gets people telling him untrue stories like they rode and won and yadda, yadda, yadda…….

However, today Brewman sent the attached emails and it was learned that Wolf King, Bison, Brewman, Ridley Cross Guy and Brewman and a fifth rider who Brewman did not know by name, showed up to ride in the rain!

Oh, the Minions are a Mighty Nation! (Mighty crazy!)

Here is the email exchange that took place with Brewman and Belo News as he reported in on the cyclocross season;

Email from Brewman;

The Kisscross season opened Sunday at Plaster Creek Park in Grand Rapids. It was a warm and sunny day, a great start to the season. The course was fast and flowing. Some tight turns, a little sand, some short steep climbs, barricades and a long flight of stairs. Addictively painful event. All worth it with a Founder’s Porter ice cream float at the finish! Remember – Sunday October 2, 2011 – Kisscross at Markin Glen park in Kalamazoo.

Photo: http://www.jhkunnenphoto.com/p880988820/e9bc8b2c

Return email from Belo News;

Thanks! We will post this at the site.

I am assuming last Saturday got rained out. Everyone I've asked said they didn't go, but usually someone does show up. Do you know if anyone rode?

Brewman;

Yes there were 5 hearty Minions! Wolf King, Bison, The Ridley cross bike guy, Brewman and one other ( he has a tattoo on his calf). I am not sure who had podium spots as I peeled off on DE Avenue after we crossed M-89.

Belo News;

Was the tattoo an ironman symbol? That would be.....Ironman. The only other tattoo I'm aware of is Wildman, who also has an Ironman symbol, but a different one....

Was it raining for most of the ride?

Brewman;

It must have been Ironman, it was not Wildman. It rained pretty steady for a little over half the ride. It did stop but was still grey and wet roads. At least it was fairly warm. No one wore any sissy rain jackets.


Sissy Jackets? Do Minions wear “Sissy Jackets?” We don’t think so, but we do know what Brewman is talking about!

So the Mighty Minion Nation did ride….or at least some of them did.

That is all we know and we can thank Brewman for this detailed report!

Where else can you get this type of in-depth cycle reporting?

Sharkman is gone again this weekend but will be back on the 24th!

The season is drawing to a rapid close and you won't want to miss another ride!

The Nation will ride on!

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. – SHARP!

OBERON WINS AGAIN!

BREWMAN TAKES BEST BEER JERSEY!

WHERE’S THE KOFFEE!

Belo News
September 3, 2011

Galesburg, Mi. – Another fantastic Saturday morning greeted our hero as he launched from the Shark Cove along with his trusty side kick, Nikeboy. Excitement had been building all week about “Beer Jersey Day” and the Sharkman was all decked out in his Oberon Jersey, his Summer Sun Socks and was ready to ride.

About half way to the start, the two riders heard a clicking in the back tire of Nikeboy's ride and the two legends pulled over to investigate. It seemed a “fish hook” had become lodged in Nikeboy’s tire!

A fish hook?

Yes, and not only was getting a fish hook in your tire a bit unusual, considering they were some distance from any large bodies of water, but it was a HUGE fish hook!

Was someone trying to hook our hero, the intrepid Sharkman? Such strange goings on!

Being the expert on all things “fish” that the Sharkman is, he immediately assisted in removing the barbed hook from the tire, only to catch his finger on the barb, causing some bleeding to our hero. Nikeboy, realizing that it might take a while to change the tire and being concerned about future flats with no spare, told our hero to ride on to the start without him. Dripping blood on the road, our hero swam on alone!

When Sharkman arrived at the start, the beer jerseys were already lining up and it was apparent that Oberon would win the day. As a matter of fact, at last count 9 Oberon Jersey’s were in attendance and they represented 2007-2011 (see photo)!

However, the best beer jersey went to the Dogfish Beer worn by the legendary Brewman himself! Come on, who else would win a Beer Jersey contest? Is this a great country or what?

Brewman was immediately named the winner of the best jersey not only because it was a cool jersey, but because the Sharkman liked the way it looked like a shark on the front & back (see photo).

After the press took a number of start photos, the Skipper launched 26 riders through Galesburg, past the Klutch and out, north of town. As the Mighty Minion Nation chugged past the Klutch, the errant Wolf King in his now customary Illini Kit joined on and north of town, Gazelle Girl, taking a weekend off from the party circuit, jumped on the fast moving train.

Sharkman re-secured his opening sprint and did his usual count at the G Ave. crossing and the crowd was now at 29 riders. Kid Doster jumped on later and it is guestimated (guestimate is a word the Sharkman made up because so many riders are jumping on and off the ride, it is hard to get an accurate number of riders) that the peloton was in the 30 range for the vast majority of the ride.

In the Country Club section, Chico again moved out to take the pull and took the speed way up as the peloton splintered up to the Rt. 43 sprint.

As the Mighty Minion Nation rambled through the inlet, Wrong Way followed Elwood past the D Ave. turn, confirming his name, Wrong Way, and had to hustle to catch back on to the Nation.

(Editors Note - Of course, Wrong Way could be forgiven for his behavior as he had spent the previous evening with the Sharkman and wives at a bread and beer soirée and had made an entire tour (actually two tours) of the beer world before retreating for the evening. As all good Minions should know, a Beer World Tour is when there are German Pilsners, Belgium wheat’s, British Stouts, etc. and you try every single one…..twice or more! Sharkman was smart enough to stop the tour in Britain after one trip around the world and a couple “Two and Out Stouts” and retreated to the Cove for the evening…..it has been reported he slept very well…….)

After the Digital Divide, Sharkman launched out to start the pace line and quickly turned it over to the fast moving train of riders.

At the GGG crossing, Sharkman and Hossman went to the front and took turns early in trying to get the Nation to spread out. Chico also came through and took the speed up considerably to the final hill before the descent to the finish.

Some time Minion Joe Pa (until he get’s a better Minion name) took off with the sun shining on his Stryker Team Kit (no, Stryker is not a brewery, Bunkie). Falcon and B-Rod and a cast of thousands trailed to the finish!

Final ride statistics, again in meters, from Wolf King;

Your Performance on the trip started on: Sep 3, 2011 8:05 AM

Trip time: 01:19:41
Trip distance: 44.6 km

Trip calories: 1163 kcal
Average speed: 33.6 km/h
Maximum speed: 166.9 km/h
Climbed altitude: 115 m

The Klutch was again, ROCKING and a record attendance created quite a back up in the Koffee line. Minions had to fight with the paparazzi and tofosi to find a seat as the Koffee ran short and the Minion Nation was kept waiting for their second kups of brew! Even Bissell Boy, who was errant at the start, showed up to score yet another Oberon Jersey in the peloton! Viva Oberon!

The party atmosphere at the Klutch kept things jumping for quite a while as Sharkman shared that he had gotten an email from Bullet Bob reporting that the Catlike Whisper helmet can now be purchased on line in the U.S. and in U.S. DOLLARS!

“What!” Said Zickman, decked out in his Catlike helmet and some obscure Brewery Jersey! Yes, you can now buy the Catlike in U.S. Dollars and you too can look as cool as the Zickman! Just ask Bullet Bob!

The Sharkman also announced that he would be on Grandparent duty the next two weekends and would miss the rides, but the rides will go on!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. – SHARP!

In remembrance of 9/11, Minions are asked to wear their Red, White and Blue kit if they have it! Show your love on the good old U.S. of A. land of the free, home of the brave and roads of the Mighty Minion Nation!

Ride safe!


TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT

Belo News
September 6, 2011

Battle Creek, Mi. – By agreement, the Tuesday Night Ride was moved up to 5:45 p.m. to make sure there was enough light. Rainman, Wrong Way, Airman, Pirate, Stingray and Sharkman were all on hand to make an attempt on the record set the previous week. Winds were cool and strong out of the North, Northwest, but it seemed as though it was in the riders face in whatever direction they turned. Final average speed was clocked at 21.3 mph and a bit off the previous week’s record. The Minions all agreed it must have been because the Skipper was not in attendance!

This ride moves to 5:30 p.m. for the remainder of what is left of the season, so it you want to do a great pace line work out, be ready to launch from the Kellogg HQ Visitor Lot at 5:30 p.m. next Tuesday!

NOW FOR SOME BIKE HUMOR…….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1s0XsulDXtk

JAIME SINGS FOR THE MINIONS!

IRONMAN TAKES THE TAPE!

ZICKMAN WINS ALL THE STYLE POINTS!

BEER JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!

Belo News
August 27, 2011

Galesburg, Mi. – As another fantastic dawn broke over the Shark Cove; the Sharkman was surprised at how dark it was in the Shark Cove bedroom as he shook the sleep from his blood shot eyes and pushed back the shark bedspread. Apparently fall is approaching and with it, the retreat of those long daylight hours. Oh, the humanity…….None the less, our intrepid hero padded out to start the Shark Coffee Maker and began his preparation for the ride.

Many Minions have asked what fuels our hero’s epic ability to ride long and fast and be a full time super hero like he is. Is there a secret source to his deeds of wonder you ask? Though the Sharkman tends to keep his training secrets,….. well secret, he was willing to share his pre-race breakfast with us here at Belo News.

The Sharkman starts his pre-race preparation with one strawberry frosted Pop Tart (un-toasted…being the tough shark that he is, our hero eats his Pop Tarts raw.) followed by three prunes and then washes it all down with a cup or two of his special shark blend coffee after grinding the beans and using his beloved Bunn Shark Coffee Maker.

Eating only one Pop Tart demonstrates his Zen like discipline to his nutritional regiment!

MMMMmmmm…. makes the editors of the Belo News mouths water just thinking about it! But we digress…..

Fired up on Pop Tarts and prunes, the old Shark was greeted by none other than Nikeboy as he launched from the Cove. It had been a while since Nikeboy had been on the ride and they had a lot of catching up to do on the ride over.

Once again, a large turn out was waiting at the start, with two new riders, Rod and DeAnn Auton (nick names to be determined) jumped on. They had heard about the ride through Cheddarhead and wanted to see what all the excitement was about. Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation Rod and DeAnn, glad to have you aboard!

Another rider who claimed to have ridden before but the Sharkman could not remember, was dubbed Elwood because of his strong resemblance to the famous Blues Brother. After getting the name he promptly stated, “I’m on a mission from God!”

Welcome back to the Nation Elwood! Also joining on was a new rider on a Redline Cyclo Cross bike herein known as Redline Guy. It must have been a cyclo cross day as Brewman, who has been gone the past few weeks, came in on a fine looking Cannondale cyclo cross bike.

But no on could out do the sartorial splendor of the Zickman! Who can forget the fashion statement he made with the white World Champion kit a few weeks back. This week, he was the first on his block to be sporting the Catlike Whisper Plus Helmet! For those who are not IN the know, this helmet has been coveted here in the U.S. as one of the lightest, coolest lids you can buy, but you can only buy in Europe.

Until now!



Europe, schmurope! Zickman waits for no one! He ordered his on line in Euro's and now is the first in the peloton to own one of these beauties! (see photo) Heck, most Minions don't even know what a Euro is!?!

Now Belo News wants to see him wear the Catwhisper with his World Champion kit!

Oh, a Minion living the code!

All together now Minions, “If you can’t be good, look good!” Well our Zickman is both!

One minute before the Shark clock stroked 8:00 A.M. Wolf King pulled into the parking lot. Fortunately for him, Danimal had come in late and the peloton was willing to wait for him, but not for Wolf King. This gave the Wolf a couple extra minutes and additionally, Bling Girl had a flat on the way in to the ride and she and Stryker Guy were working on it just up the road. So the peloton was delayed a few minutes.

With the Skipper gone for the week, the Pirate took over and led the 24 riders out at the start and past the Klutch where the usual crowd was waiting to wave on their hero’s. This all gave time for Wolf King, Bling Girl, Stryker Guy and Sharkman, who had gone back for them, time to catch back on to the peloton.

As the mighty Minion Nation moved north, Gazelle Girl joined on with her Media Representative, Ironman at her side. The now 26 riders moved along with B-Rod leading our hero out for the honorary Sharkman first sprint. The count at the G ave. crossing was a confirmed 26 riders including the B group led by Cheddarhead.

As the group moved on to the col de Twin Lakes, the peloton splintered on the climb only to come back together at the next stop sign.

After the Yorkville Church turn, Chico came to the front and put on a huge pull to the Rt. 43 stop sign. As the riders circled Gull Lake, there were many runners and bikers who were partaking of a club run/bike around the lake. The Minions commented at the post race activity that it was great to see so many people out and about on the roads around Gull Lake. Is this a great country or what? It was just another fantastic day on the roads the Minion Nation knows as the KK-TdG field of dreams!

As the Minions ascended the col de Norte, there was a water/rest stop for the runners. Wolf King attempted to avail himself with whatever they had to offer. However, they did not have any Pop Tarts or Doritos so he just asked for water…..

As the riders sprinted to the inlet stop ahead, B-Rod, who was leading at the finish, suffered a flat tire to his front wheel. In unison, the Minions pulled over to wait as B-Rod did his Indy 500 pit routine and promptly fixed the flat and was ready to go in quick order.

The pace again picked up south of the Digital Divide with Sharkman starting the peloton and Redline Guy taking over to lead out the train. As the Nation bore down on the GGG sprint, Sharkman made a move from the back only to have it covered by Ironman and Zickman, who was still looking good in that Cat Whisper Plus Helmet!

Once again, worried that the large sprint finish might be dangerous, Sharkman took off with Redline Guy right behind him. When he pulled off and looked back, it was just the two of them and he told Redline Guy to keep going. Before long, the gap was closed and the Clydesdale of finishers, the Hossman, pulled through to take the pull to yet another level!

After a humongous pull, the Pirate, Redline and Sharkman again found themselves at the front and it was Sharkman that pulled to the top of the final hill before losing whatever gas he had left in his tank…..(where is a Tow Truck when you need it).

Alas, there was no gap behind our hero and the rambling herd was stampeding to the finish that lay ahead!

As the horde of rabid riders, hungry for the win, bore down on the finish line like Wolf King on a bag of Doritos, the Sharkman could only watch as the riders began to line up.

There were some riders who did not hold their lines (the Commissioner of Miniondom wants to again remind riders how important it is that if you are boxed in at the finish you cannot try to move out across riders behind you.) but the group held together as Ironman out sprinted Wolf King with B-Rod grabbing the final spot on the podium.

From Wolf Kings iPhone App;

Your Performance on the trip started on: Aug 27, 2011 8:03 AM



Trip time: 01:25:55
Trip distance: 46.4 km
Trip calories: 1421 kcal
Average speed: 32.5 km/h
Maximum speed: 104.7 km/h
Climbed altitude: 531 m


The fans went wild on the Champs le Galesburg and the Klutch was ROCKING as our hero’s entered the hallowed halls of Koffeedom.

It may have been close to a record number of Minions who stopped for their fix of Koffee and in appreciation, the Minions were serenaded by none other than the Barista herself, the famous Jaime!

As you can see by the photo, she entertained the Nation with one of the songs from her upcoming role at the Kalamazoo Civic Theater and she got a rousing round of applause as she belted out the tune! Sharkman was heard to say, “Where else can you get entertainment like this? Eh?” This is a great country!

What will happen this week? Come to ride and find out! There are only a few weeks left of the 2011 season! (Can that be so? Oh, yes, Bunkie!)

It is Labor Day weekend and what do people do on Labor Day? Rest from their labors! And how do Minions rest from their labors? By having a cold adult beverage, that’s how!

As American’s, we like beer on holiday weekends! So this Saturday has been designated as “Beer Jersey Day!” Wear your favorite Beer Jersey for the holiday!

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!

We are changing a long time Minion Motto! As we all know, the famous Minion motto’s is that “we will leave no Minion behind!”

But from now on, it is “we leave no Minion behind unless they are late for the start!”

Be there! On time!





INSIDE TRAINING INFORMATION REVEALED!

Belo News
August 27, 2011

Richland, Mi. – In a special Belo News investigative report, our reports have learned that the famous Tow Truck, who has had his season shortened by shoulder surgery, was rumored to have purchased an indoor trainer with watt measuring capability. Subsequent investigative efforts by one or our undercover reporters has confirmed this information to be true and everyone can live in fear that the always strong Tow Truck is now getting even stronger during his recovery.

To which Belo News can only say, “Oh, the humanity!”


TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT

Average Speed Record Shattered!

Belo News
August 30, 2011

Battle Creek, Mi. – On a cool and calm night, the Tuesday night Minion Chain Gang took their average speed to new heights! Rainman, Airman, Wrong Way, All Black, the Pirate and Sharkman launched from the Kellogg HQ Visitor lot promptly at 6:00 p.m. The pace line was met by the Skipper on River Road as the rambling train approached Augusta. Reaching speeds of 27 mph in the pace line, the Minions brought it home with a new season record of 21.7 mph! It was a team victory for America!

If you like pace line work at high speeds this is the ride for you! Tuesday nights at 6 p.m. from the Kellogg HQ Headquarters! Strap yourself in for one heck of a ride, Bunkie!

SPEAKING OF POP TARTS……

Belo News
August 30, 2011

Battle Creek, Mi. – We are all aware of the Sharkman’s passion for his beloved Pop Tarts, but little did we know it was one of the top three things that is purchased in cases of emergencies. Obviously, in addition to its nutritional value, Pop Tarts offer comfort in times of stress. Everyone needs to believe in something, so the Editors of Belo News believe they’ll have another Pop Tart!




Viva Pop Tarts!

http://abcnews.go.com/US/hurricanes/hurricane-irene-pop-tarts-top-list-hurricane-purchases/story?id=14393602

Bissell Pro Rider and Battle Creek's own Chris Baldwin Shines at Inaugural USA Pro Challenge

Bissell rider puts knowledge of home roads to good use

The inaugural USA Pro Cycling Challenge provided the US-based Continental teams a unique opportunity to test themselves against eight ProTour squads, highlighted by the presence of the 2011 Tour de France podium of Cadel Evans (BMC) plus Andy and Fränk Schleck (Leopard Trek). Chris Baldwin (Bissell) finished 14th overall, 2:38 down on winner Levi Leipheimer (RadioShack) and just 21 seconds behind Fränk Schleck, as the highest-placed rider of the US Continental team contingent.

The 35-year-old Boulder, Colorado resident spoke to Cyclingnewsmoments after crossing the finish line of the final stage in Denver and was effusive in his praise of the event.

"It exceeded any expectations that I could have had for my home state race, and I'm just ecstatic that it happened. I just want to thank the whole state for coming out."

The race was a huge priority for Baldwin, who for the first time in his career could compete in a world-class stage race in his home state.

"You have an extra gear on the bike," said Baldwin, about the additional motivation and energy from racing at home. "I rode the best I have in years this week. I think it's just due to coming out of my skin every day for being on roads I know. Having the Schleck brothers, Cadel Evans and Levi [Leipheimer] racing on my training routes, I feel very lucky."

Baldwin's goal was a top-15 finish, and during the interview it wasn't yet known that his 16th place on GC entering the final stage would be upped to 14th overall. Two riders ahead of him were gapped out in the endgame of stage 6 and dropped below Baldwin on GC.

Baldwin, a two-time national time trial champion and an experienced domestic professional, was slated to race the 2011 season for the V Australia Continental team, but that fell through as the team made room for several riders absorbed from the failed Pegausus Sport ProTeam. Baldwin began the season as an amateur, but was able to return to the professional ranks when he was signed by Bissell in April.

In addition to Baldwin's 14th place GC finish, Bissell's Frank Pipp finished fifth on the final stage while Jay Thomson was on the attack for nearly the entire duration of stage 1 from Salida to Crested Butte.

 BB

A VERY “TACKLESS” RIDE!

BIG TEN CONFERENCE RULES!

WOLF KING RIEGNS!

INJURY UPDATE AND MORE SAFETY INFORMATION!


Belo News
August 20, 2011

Galesburg, Mi. – On one of the most beautiful mornings of the season, our intrepid hero headed out to Galesburg, excited about College Game Day! The cool air, after a pretty warm summer, invigorated our hero as he launched from the Cove. Sharkman reported seeing four bucks on the way to the start, possibly indicating an early Fall?

Riders slowly trickled into the start for the ride. It was College Game Day and the Big 10 Conference was well represented with one jersey from Wisconsin (Sharkman), MSU (Skipper), Purdue (Ironman), Ohio State (Stryker Guy and with Ohio State on suspension they may not get “officially” recorded) and later, Illinois when the Wolf King jumped on.

What, no University of Michigan? No, the Wolverines were shut out at College Game Day for the first time. Though no one school took the title, the Big 10 seemed to take the crown.

Don’t worry Shark Minions; there will be another College Game Day later this fall.

Skipper led the Nation out of the parking lot and past the Klutch where the morning group all waved at their hero’s as they rode by.

No Gazelle Girl this week, or should we say, “Party Girl” who was sleeping in because she was hosting, yes you guessed it, a party and needed to get the Gazelle Estate ready. We need to get the Mighty Minion Nation on Party Girls invitation list! This lady knows how to PARTY!

Flash Gordon and Squeaky were quick to take the pace out and fought it out for the Sharkman Honorary Sprint with the Sharkman taking it easy at the back of the peloton.

Riders jumped on and the count hit a high of 17 in the early part of the ride. A number of riders were already getting involved in kids’ sports and some where up in Grand Rapids for the National Crit Championships.

As the riders reached the top of the col de Twin Lakes, Skipper had a mechanical and Sharkman and All Black went back to look for him. When they got back to the Rt. 89 crossing, the Mighty Nation had left their leader behind so the three lost Minions took the cut off and got ahead of the Nation at the Country Club. Unbeknownst to our intrepid hero, somewhere along the path a large number of riders had joined on and as the Sharkman, All Black and Skipper waited at the top of the short hill up to Rt. 43 the peloton looked huge.

At the top of the col de Norte, the Nation circled up (see safety information below) as they waited for a Minion to climb the hill. When the rider got to the top of the hill, the Sharkman did not know who the rider was and it was only then did he realize the additional 7-8 riders were on board.

A spirited pace took control of the peloton as they approached the Bible Conference Hills. The previous “tack” incident was fresh in everyone’s memory and questions about whether there would be any tacks to greet them abounded. We are pleased to report no tacks on the road!

As the Nation stopped at Frona’s to regroup, the extra riders thanked the Minions and dropped off the ride.

As the Nation moved south to the GGG crossing, the pace line organized and the speed picked up considerably. Sharkman made a run from the back of the peloton for the GGG sprint, but Ironman nipped him at the line.

After the GGG crossing, Sharkman went to the front, again missing both Hossman and the Tow Truck to spread out the peloton. Soon, Squeaky came forward and then Toast made a very strong pull to try to string out the field.

As the peloton crested the final hill, Wolf King latched on to Squeaky’s wheel, as a cast of thousands followed in wait of the final sprint.

That is when Flash Gordon made his move to the front and picking up a bunch of speed from the back, he began to pick off riders like a cherry picker run crazy!

Wolf King was forced to make a move a bit earlier than he likes, with Ironman right behind him. As Flash Gordon and Wolf King drilled to the finish, Wolf King was able to hold of the surging peloton to take the tape by a fraction over Flash and Ironman.

The crowds went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as our hero’s approached the Klutch for their morning brew.

From Wolf King’s iPhone app;

Your Performance on the trip started on: Aug 20, 2011 8:13 AM

Trip time: 01:09:02

Trip distance: 36.6 km
Trip calories: 1003 kcal
Average speed: 31.9 km/h
Maximum speed: 182.5 km/h
Climbed altitude: 93 m

Only problem is Wolf King does everything in meters! He also needs to turn the thing off in the car. 182.5 km/h max speed? We don’t think so!

INJURY UPDATE!

After the festivities, the Old Shark mounted up to head back to the cove and Wolf King joined on to get a few extra miles in. As they headed out of town, a white Chevy pulled along side and it was none other than Hawkeye! He had wanted to make it for Koffee but had been held up on an errand but Sharkman reported that he was looking good and though he said he was tired, he was fighting the good fight. Hawkeye reports that he has finished with the major treatment but now has to give himself a shot three times a week that does tire him out. But again, he was looking good and wanted to thank all the Minions for their thoughts and prayers!

On another injury note, our own Tow Truck took a header out at Fort Custer, injuring his rotor cuff and had to have surgery on his shoulder. Unfortunately he will be out for the remainder of the season!

Who is going to tow the Mighty Minion Nation to the finish every week?!

Our well wishes go out to the Tow Truck of the peloton! Get well soon and get back in the Nation!

You won’t want to miss this week’s edition of the KK-TdG!

Saturday, August 27, 2011 – Launch Time – 8:00 A. M. – SHARP!

TEAM BISSELL RULES AT NATIONAL CRIT CHAMPIONSHIPS!

Belo News
August 20, 2011

Grand Rapids, Mi. – Bissell Boy, checking in from the National Crit Championships in Grand Rapids reported that Bissell Team rookie, Eric Young, won Stars and Stripes Jersey! Young is a recent IU grad and is the defending Little 500 Champion! Congratulations Eric Young and on College Game Day to boot! Is this a great country or what?


TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT

Belo News
August 23, 2011

Battle Creek, Mi. – The Mighty Minion Nation was able to get the Tuesday night ride in between rain storms and in so doing, shattered the season speed record with a 20.9 mph average. Airman, Stingray, Wrong Way, Rainman, Hoosier Boy and our intrepid hero, the Sharkman headed out from the Kellogg HQ Visitor Lot with an east tail wind. Half way through the ride, Danny jumped on as Hoosier Boy, who had positioned his bike at the Galesburg/Augusta High School, jumped off. By the time the group headed back east, the wind had tied down a bit and the fast moving train was able to keep the pace up through the remainder of the ride.

If you’re looking for a great work out and some pace line experience, this is the ride for you! Launch time 6:00 p.m. Tuesday Nights from the Kellogg Visitor Lot!

Editors Note – Bissell Boys write up on safety a couple of weeks ago brought a number of great comments about the importance of safety in the peloton.

As a follow up, Gazelle Girl shared the attached from the Kalamazoo Bike Club Newsletter.

BTW – Sharkman is a member of KBC, as are many Minions, and completely endorses membership. The KBC is your voice on biking in the area and the $15 a year dues is a minor cost compared to all that the KBC does for the bike community!

[KBC-general] Reporting Road Rage and Accidents


On August 10, 2011, the Kalamazoo County Road Commission hosted a presentation on Traffic Laws by Sgt. James Campbell, an expert in Traffic Crash Reconstruction with the Michigan State Police. I followed up with Sgt. Campbell. His well thought-out answers to my questions may be important to some of you, so I am releasing them immediately. You never know whether his information might come in handy sooner, rather than later.

Q: What should a bicyclist do, if a motorist causes a bicyclist to be injured by their actions, such as in an accident, or through an act we might call "road rage?"

A: If there is an actual crash and some one is injured there needs to be a report per MVC 257.617 (stop and ID and report). If there is no contact but the vehicle causes a crash with injury the same applies and the vehicle is still required to report. This vehicle would be listed as a "non-contact" unit on the report.

Q: What if no actual injury occurs, but a bicyclist believes the motorist engaged in a deliberate act that otherwise could have hurt someone?

A: If the vehicle violates a traffic law that is not seen by a police officer - in your case it most likely would have to be "careless" 257.626b (likely to endanger person or property). The citation would have to be written with a "witness" as the complainant and that person would have to come to court and testify.

Q: In the case of such careless driving (or "road rage"), what would be required in order to make a complaint with some hope of justice? Does it help if more than just one rider saw what happened?

A: A careless ticket is written to a driver (not owner) so there would need to be some ability to identify the suspected driver.The citation would require - time / date / location / vehicle information (plate, color, make and model) and a way to identify the driver. Witnesses always help because in court it will be you vs. them.

Q: When should a report be filed?

A: The complaint should be made ASAP so that if the vehicle can be located if possible.This information is for general educational purposes only and is not intended to replace the counsel of an attorney or any other professional whose service may be required in the situations discussed above.

Thanks to Sgt. Campbell for the time and thought he put into helping our membership.

Paul Selden

Director of Road Safety, KBC

And the following was sent in from Bissell Boy.

Tacks, glass found along Colorado bike race routes

By STEVEN K. PAULSON - Associated Press AP – Wed, Aug 17, 2011

DENVER (AP) — Colorado authorities are warning cyclists that tacks, box cutters and broken glass have been found strewn along popular bike routes that are part of course plans for major races next week — including the inaugural USA Pro Cycling Challenge.

The objects are being purposely placed on trails and roads, Jefferson County sheriff's spokeswoman Jacki Kelley said Tuesday.

"We've had five or six incidents where things were put along popular bicycle roads," Kelley said. She said the incidents have caused several flat tires but no injuries.

The 100-mile Deer Creek Challenge, which takes place in a canyon south of Denver that is one of the most widely-used riding routes in the area, is scheduled for Sunday.

And a day later, elite cyclists from around the world will begin competing in the weeklong, 510-mile Pro Cycling Challenge, which culminates in a final stage that takes riders from Golden's Lookout Mountain in Jefferson County into downtown Denver.

Crews will be sweeping the roads before the races, Kelley said.

She said authorities found broken glass that "appears to have been purposely placed on the shoulder" of Lookout Mountain Road — a scenic, winding site that figures to be one of the more challenging climbs of the professional race.

Kelley said there has been a history of tension between motorists and bicyclists, especially in Deer Creek, where box cutters were found. She said a meeting was held last year between riders and the homeowners association in an effort to negotiate a truce.

Dan Grunig, the executive director of Bicycle Colorado, said bikes sometimes outnumber cars on the shoulderless roadway in the area, causing congestion.

A WORD FROM THE SHARKMAN HIS SELF!

There has been a lot of discussion about safety on the rides and I want to emphasis how important it is for each of us as riders, to make sure we are not causing the dangers that we worry about. I have noticed that we have gotten just a bit careless at some of the intersections and especially at the top of the col de Norte as we wait for riders. Circling in the road in front of cars; riding in the wrong direction on the road; crossing the yellow lines, etc. are all things that are not only dangerous for us, but also cause major issues with drivers.

We need to make sure we stick to the side of the road and have no more than two abreast unless we are passing and the road is clear.

More importantly, if we have a driver who does get upset and cuts riders off or shouts at the peloton, Minions should take the high road and ignore them completely or even apologize for their errant behavior even if they are in the right.

Flipping a driver off or yelling back at them is completely counter productive and only makes the situation worse.

We want goodwill around the KK-TdG field of dreams and it is important for all Minions to be safe, courteous and every vigilant!

Remember - "in conflict, be fair and generous!" - Lao Tzu

Be safe out there Bunkie!

Nough said!